Is ISIS a True Islam? (A Non-Muslim Asking a Muslim)

www.kopihangtuah.blogspot.com

NON MUSLIM:

Referring to the website- http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/03/what-isis-really-wants/384980/ , I am interested in your view as to whether it could be true that ISIS is true Islam and everybody else is following wrong teaching? Or do you think the US and Israelis made this up?

MUSLIM:

ISIS is not true Islam. Israel is known to have done anything they want. I do not trust them at all man. USA is just a puppet for Israel. Billions of USD tax payers money goes to Israel. That is enough to raise doubts.

NON MUSLIM:

US aid to Israel you are right except that it is trillions not billions. But what you probably don't know is that Egypt gets very close to the same amount. How can you be so sure of who is in your good books when you may not have all the facts?

MUSLIM:

How can you be so sure?

NON MUSLIM:

I am not sure! That's the point! But I am not making definitive statements on Facebook or Twitter either!

MUSLIM:

Well I am making statements about the death of those innocent kids in Palestine, Syria, etc.

NON MUSLIM:

Yes. Nothing wrong with stating the fact that lots of innocents are dying. It's the conspiracy stuff that I keep finding amusing. How can you be so certain that what you are reposting on social media is true? Or do you not mind if you repost things that turn out to be false?

MUSLIM:

I read the article. Too long. Interesting but contains too many misconceptions that not only confuse Muslims but non Muslims too. Inaccurate conclusions on Muhammad, Quran and Islam as interpretations were cherry picked such as Islam allows slavery and concubines and such, instead of digested as a whole. I will tell you the whole story about the Great Lie of End of Times that specifically refers to ISIS and the 666.

NON MUSLIM:

Agree it is long. I have never read the whole Quran either, which is why I wanted your view. To be clear, ISS do believe that Islam and the Prophet allows slavery and concubines, etc. They have said so many times in their videos and speeches by leaders. So that part is not controversial. What was new to me is that a religious reading of the Quran supports this view. And according to them if you don't agree then you are khufir (non-believer) just like me.

MUSLIM:

I will tell you in what context certain things in Quran have been taken wrongly by this ISIS and why I think Israel and USA is involved. However, my explanation does not involve empirical evidence. It involves certain prophecies by Prophet Muhammad regarding ISIS. It is a matter of my spiritual believe.... that is why I am reluctant to have a conversation with you because you only accept empirical evidence based arguments whereas mine is based on my faith.

NON MUSLIM:

Okay. If it is belief then that's fine. No need to explain, you are right. Hard for me to understand those kind of answers but will accept them. This is not an inquisition. I am just trying to understand.

MUSLIM:

You want to understand whether ISIS is Islamic? Ok I will make it short and sweet. Referring to the article condemning Muslims at the link- http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/03/what-isis-really-wants/384980/ , Firstly, did the Quran say "Kill Non Muslims" and take infidels as slaves and concubines? Quran made references to prisoners of war becoming slaves and concubines. That was the "tradition" globally that time. Over the 22 years of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) perfecting Islam via revelations from Allah, the Almighty God, he has progressively released slaves and abolished slavery and the practice of keeping concubines. This was not appreciated by many Islamophobias who also often cherry picked phrases in Quran making it halal to kill non Muslims in the wrong context. If the Quran is read in totality, it condemns killing others, Muslims or Non Muslims. In fact, it promotes prisoners of war to do beneficial stuff like teaching Muslim kids about science, maths, etc. Yes Quran says kill those who intrudes Islam as a means of defence. The ISIS and Al-Qaeda got it all wrong. I honestly believe the Islam that ISIS embrace is a false one. This misconception by ISIS has been amplified by the End of Days prophecy, which is my second point. End of Days basically have a few components that strongly influences the Muslims to believe in the prophecy. The components are: [i. 666 or Dajjal will cause chaos to Earth. ii. The Messiah Imam Mahadi will lead the Muslims to fight Dajjal. iii. Jesus Christ will come down from the Heavens to lead the Muslims working with Imam Mahadi.] The ISIS believes that we are now in the era of End of Days. Armageddon is coming. Therefore they conclude that the superpowers that are controlling new world order has to be Dajjal. Hence USA and Israel marked. Many signs match what is happening such as the geographical area of war, names of cities as well as specific events. When small prophecies come true, it is easy to conclude the ultimate prophecy. Personally I do not know whether I should conclude whether USA and Israel are not Dajjal. They are indeed super powers that are trying to control Middle East, i.e. the Muslims. This warrants discussion in my third point, "Why is ISIS using Islam as the reference if they are not Islamic?" The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) also prophesised that during the End of Days there will be a false caliphate that uses Islam as a weapon to cause chaos and that the caliph will go by the name that refers to geographical locations and will be using a black flag. This caliph and his army will work to benefit the Dajjal whether or not he realises it or whether or not orchestrated by Dajjal. This is a prophecy well known to many Muslims particularly Ahli Sunnah Wal-Jamaah (Sunni). I am a Sunni. I have studied enough to conclude spiritually and empirically that the prophecy of false caliph has manifested it self..... the ISIS! They carry Black flag with Allah on it. They use names of places as Surname, like Al- Baghdadi, and they cause chaos that contravenes all Islamic teachings, be it misinterpretation of the Quran or simply barbaric activities as what you see on TV now. They may or may not do it on purpose but based on my points above, looks like it is happening, i.e. not embracing Quran in its divine purpose thoroughly but rather in cherry picked destructive ways. Finally why would Muslims believe that USA and Israel is the Dajjal? In accordance to the prophecy by Prophet Muhammad as well as some phrases in the Quran,  Dajjal works in many ways. He has the false prophet or false caliph as mentioned earlier. He also has his own army called Yakjuj Makjuj or better known as Gog and Magog in the Bible. The prophecy also says that Yahudi will assist Dajjal. Now USA and Israel may fall under any of those categories, i.e. false prophet, or Yakjuj Makjuj or Yahudi, or even Dajjal himself. I do not know. But all of those are simply referred to as the Dajjal, the negative force. When you see USA and Israel army drop bombs onto Iraq, Syria, Palestine and interfere with the Governments of Egypt, Iran, Afghanistan, Indonesia and many more Muslim countries, it is quite easy to relate back to the prophecy. If there is a believe that USA and Israel is the Dajjal, or one of his arms, it is easy to conclude that ISIS is that false caliph working with Dajjal. What more with many whistleblowing of ISIS not doing Islamic acts like killings, etc, and the fact that not once have ISIS attacked Israel. Mind you, ISIS is also killing many Muslims especially Shiites in the name of Sunni. Very twisted. I mentioned Yahudi. The name Yahudi is commonly used by Arabs when referring to Israelies. Not accurate actually. Yahudi should be referred to when addressing Zionists. Zionists are the ones controlling what Israel and USA do. They control the majority of the congressmen in USA. You can see now how a Muslim such as me, who are against killings, etc, coupled by prophecies by Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) on the false caliph, tend to conclude that ISIS is unIslamic and an extension of the Dajjal, whose description best befitting the super powers such as USA, Israel any other military powers that has been attacking Middle East since the longest time? The Dajjal is prophesised to have the cunningness to control the world and people's mind and the Muslims were warned by the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) that the Dajjal will lie the biggest lie to humanity. Cunningness and lie means deception. Humanity may think that Dajjal is working for goodness of life but he has hidden agendas. That biggest lie was explained by the Prophet to be the lie on Muslims. For example, the war on Iraq for having weapons of mass destruction that was subsequently concluded as false. UN allowing Israel to destroy and occupy land of Palestine that does not belong to the Israelites. I can write a separate long article about the Palestinian invasion but not here. My point is, these are my religious believes via the Prophet's prophecies. You can now understand why I find it facinating to know about Freemasons, the New World Order and such. If you had studied all this from history, you can see how the New World Order has moved from the UK in the 40's, then to USA now and finally, yet to happen, as prophesised by the Prophet, to Greater Israel, an empire that is in production now. So, if you ask me why I conclude that USA and Israel.... as well as ISIS, cannot be trusted, I can only give you my religious believe as detailed above rather than empirical or scientific reasons that non Muslims prefer. In the end, my message is clear. I believe that Islam is a religion of peace and that the claim that killings or any other negativity done is in the name of Islam is total and utter nonsense. ISIS have wrongfully use Islam as a reason. I also believe Israel, or Zionist, is the biggest terrorists ever in the history of mankind. The USA is unfortunately marked as a terrorist as well given their support for Israel. That is what I feel. In addition to my long explanation, here (below) is the reference to the prediction of the rise of ISIS as prophesised by Prophet Muhammad, and do watch "The Crisis of ISIS: A Prophetic Prediction | Sermon by Hamza Yusuf" on YouTube - https://youtu.be/hJo4B-yaxfk:

"If you see the black flags, then remain on the ground and do not move a hand or a leg. A group of feeble folk to whom no concern is given will then appear - their hearts are like iron [1]. They are the owners of the state [2]. They fulfill neither a contract nor a covenant [3]. They call to the truth, but they are not its people [4]. Their names are a kuniya and their lineage (surnames) are a town [5]. Their hair is unwinding, like the hair of a women [6]. (Do this) until they differ in it between themselves, then Allah will give the right to whomever HE desires."  - Prophet Muhammad, as narrated by Ali ibn abi Talib, in the collection Kitaab Al Fitan by Nu’am bin Hammad, Hadith # 557 

 

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Melaka Tidak Tumbang Kerana Keris dan Tombak

www.kopihangtuah.blogspot.com

Baru-baru ini saya ada terbaca di Facebook mengenai pembetulan yang ditegur oleh seseorang terhadap YAB Dato' Seri Najib Razak mengenai betapa terpesongnya pemahaman orang Melayu terhadap sejarah mereka sendiri. Kononnya Melayu dahulunya lebih mundur dari Eropah sehinggakan kemunduran itulah yang menjadi kehancuran empayar Melaka. Rupa-rupanya hal yang sebenarnya jauh dari itu. Kita, Melayu, sebenarnya hebat. Maka dengan perasaan bangga yang baru ini ingin saya jangkitkan kepada Melayu-Melayu yang lain melalui blog ini. Terimalah kandungan status Facebook yang dikatakan itu tadi seperti berikut:

SURAT TERBUKA UNTUK PRESIDEN UMNO: MELAKA TIDAK TUMBANG KERANA KERIS DAN TOMBAK

Ke hadapan Pesiden UMNO, merangkap Perdana Menteri sebuah negara yang dibarisi oleh majoritinya adalah orang Melayu iaitu Dato’ Seri Najib Razak. Sebagai seorang presiden parti Melayu, dato' seri harus lebih peka dalam isu ini.

Saya tertarik dengan ucapan DS Najib, setiap kali Dato’ Seri membicarakan mengenai sejarah Melayu, khususnya sejarah Kesultanan Melaka.

Ucapan pertama DS Najib yang membicarakan topik kejatuhan Kesultanan Melaka di tangan Portugis adalah pada tarikh 15 Ogos 2011, dalam majlis FELDA di mana DS Najib mengaitkan kekalahan Melaka itu berpunca daripada penggunaan senjata tradisional seperti tombak, lembing, dan keris berbanding dengan pihak Portugis yang canggih senjatanya.

Pada tahun 2014 yang lalu, saya mendapati bahawa DS Najib mengulangi cerita yang sama dalam ucapan Formula 6K UMNO. Saya menyaksikannya melalui siaran berita jam 7 pagi di saluran RTM TV1, pada tarikh 23 Jun.

Kemudian, DS Najib mengatakannya sekali lagi dalam ucapan perasmian di Universiti Sains Islam Malaysia (USIM) pada 6 April 2016 berkata, kejayaan Portugis menakluk Melaka kerana faktor senjata teknologi yang dimiliki ketika itu.

“Pahlawan Melaka telah dikalahkan mereka kerana hanya bersenjatakan keris dan tombak."

Maka, dengan penuh rasa rendah hati, saya berasa terpanggil untuk membetulkan beberapa kesalahan fakta yang saya kira tidak diketahui oleh DS Najib dan juga sebahagian besar rakyat Malaysia.

Untuk pengetahuan DS Najib, sesungguhnya cerita jatuhnya Melaka di tangan Portugis kerana faktor penggunaan senjata tradisional, adalah satu kisah dongeng semata-mata yang harus dihapuskan dalam pemikiran rakyat Malaysia buat selama-lamanya.

Kesultanan Melaka bukanlah calang-calang kerajaan, malah merupakan satu kuasa yang hebat atau “regional power”. Kemegahan pelabuhan Melaka telah membuatkan seorang pegawai Portugis pernah berkata, iaitu Tom Pires ketika menyebut mengenai Melaka.

“Whoever is lord in Malacca has his hands on the throat of Venice.”

Fikirkan kembali, Melaka ialah sebuah tamadun yang berada di tengah-tengah laluan perdagangan dunia dan pada zaman kemuncak, dicatatkan bahawa terdapat 84 bahasa yang dituturkan di pelabuhannya.

Simon Elegant dalam Far Eastern Econmic Review, IO Jun, 1999:45, telah menegaskan tentang Melaka (Terjemahan):

“Lima kurun dahulu, Melaka dikunjungi 2,000 kapal sehari iaitu sesibuk pelabuhan Singapura moden kini, yang menjadikannya satu daripada tiga pelabuhan yang tersibuk di dunia … Di situ terdapat orang-orang Gujerat, Tamil, Bengali daripada India berniaga dengan orang Melayu, Cina dan Arab secara harmonis; bandar raya dengan 100,000 penghuni, 84 bahasa dituturkan di pasar. Sultan yang memerintah, telah memastikan keselamatan Selat Melaka daripada lanun, dan barangan dapat disimpan dalam ratusan gudang dengan selamat. Jika ada sebarang pertelingkahan undang-undang yang berwibawa dilaksanakan ke atas orang tempatan dan asing seadilnya.”

Masakan Kesultanan Melaka yang metropolitan ini tidak langsung mengenali senjata api, sedangkan pada zaman yang sama, Kepulauan Jepun yang sedang berada dalam kancah perang saudara ketika era Nobunaga sudah pun mempunyai senjata api. Hall, John Whitney, ketika menulis di dalam The Cambridge History of Japan, Vol. 4: Early Modern Japan menceritakan mengenai divisyen senjata api yang dipunyai oleh Nobunaga dalam kempen Nobunaga menyatukan seluruh Jepun.

Lalu mari kita mulakan perbicaraan kita dengan membicarakan mengenai kejatuhan Melaka itu dulu, lalu bolehlah selepas itu kita memahami bagaimana budaya senjata api orang Melayu yang sebenarnya sudah sinonim dengan orang Melayu pada abad-abad seterusnya.

John Crawfurd memetik catatan De Burros dalam bukunya, A Descriptive Dictionary of the Indian Islands and Adjacent Countries, bahawa ketika Portugis menawan Melaka dahulu, mereka berjaya merampas antara 3000 hingga 8000 senjata api daripada Melaka, dan De Burros sendiri mengatakan bahawa Portugis sendiri tidak mampu untuk menghasilkan senjata api sebanyak itu. Bahkan catatan De Burrous menjelaskan lagi kepada kita bahawa Portugis menjumpai sebuah meriam Melayu Melaka yang jauh lebih besar daripada meriam yang dipunyai oleh Portugis dan meriam itu telah dihantar ke India.

Catatan yang lain pula, seperti yang dinukilkan oleh Godinho Eredia dalam buku Asia Portugueza, karya Manuel de Faria Y Souza dalam E. Koek, Portuguese History of Malacca, sewaktu kedatangan Portugis di Melaka, jumlah meriam yang dipunyai kerajaan tersebut adalah sangat banyak. Tiga ribu pucuk meriam besar telah dijumpai dalam kota Melaka, 5000 pucuk lagi telah sempat dibawa lari oleh tentera Melaka apabila kota itu tumbang.

Albuquerque menyatakan bahawa terdapat 2000 pucuk meriam yang diperbuat daripada tembaga dan yang lain diperbuat daripada besi di Melaka. Faria y Souza mengatakan bahawa sebahagian besar daripada 8000 pucuk senjata api atau meriam yang dipunyai kerajaan Melaka adalah berasal dari Pahang. Ini bermakna Pahang merupakan sebuah negeri penghasil senjata api yang berkualiti dan banyak pada zaman itu.

Menurut Eredia lagi, semua meriam-meriam itu dihasilkan dengan amat baik dan tidak dapat ditandingi walaupun dengan meriam buatan Portugis. Daripada catatan Eredia ini, dapat disimpulkan bahawa teknologi senjata api yang dimiliki oleh bangsa Melayu Melaka pada waktu tersebut adalah sama tarafnya dengan teknologi persenjataan orang Eropah, malahan mungkin lebih baik.

Seorang berbangsa Itali yang terlibat di dalam penyerangan terhadap Melaka pada tahun 1511 menyatakan bahawa terdapatnya penggunaan pelbagai jenis senjata api berat yang telah menyebabkan kehilangan nyawa yang agak ramai di pihak portugis. Menurut beliau, walaupun akhirnya tentera Melayu Melaka kalah, namun mereka digambarkan mempunyai semangat keperwiraan yang tinggi, sangat terlatih dalam ilmu peperangan dan mempunyai simpanan senjata yang bermutu serta pelbagai.

Thomas John Newbold, seorang pegawai British di Melaka pernah mencatatkan di dalam Political and Statistical Account of the British Settlements in The Straits Of Malacca, Volume 2 bahawa kilang-kilang yang menghasilkan senjata api seperti meriam-meriam milik bangsa Melayu sudah lama bertapak bukan sahaja di Semenanjung Tanah Melayu, bahkan di sekitar Kepulauan Melayu. Terengganu menjadi hub penghasilan senjata api di Semenanjung, manakala Gerisik merupakan hub untuk Pulau Jawa, dan hub untuk Sumatera pula ialah Minangkabau.

Bahkan Newbold turut mengulas mengenai pemandangan biasa yang dilihatnya ketika berada di Tanah Melayu pada abad ke-18 yang dipercayai Newbold sudah lama budaya itu itu bertapak di Tanah Melayu. Katanya, tidaklah sesuatu yang menghairankan andai dapat melihat pendekar Melayu yang lengkap bertanjak dan berbusana Melayu bersama keris dan senjata api Melayu seperti Istingar.

Bukan setakat itu sahaja, bukti aktiviti pembuatan senjata api di Pahang telah direkodkan oleh W. Linehan didalam kertas kerjanya yang berjudul Some Discoveries on the Tembeling. Di tebing-tebing Sungai Tembeling yang terletak di Pahang, Linehan telah menjumpai acuan-acuan purba yang digunakan untuk membuat meriam yang dianggarkan seawal kurun ke 13 ATAU 14, iaitu lebih awal daripada kejatuhan Melaka di tangan Portugis.

Seorang pengkaji sejarah iaitu Nicholas Tarling di dalam bukunya The Cambridge History of Southeast Asia pernah membandingkan senjata api Melayu dengan senjata api buatan Jerman yang merupakan senjata api terbaik pada abad ke-15, bahkan diceritakan mengenai kehebatan senjata api Melayu yang dikatakan tidak mempunyai tandingannya, walaupun senjata api Portugis itu sendiri. Turut dicatatkan dalam buku itu mengenai bagaimana meriam-meriam yang disusun di setiap penjuru kota Melaka telah banyak membedal nyawa askar Portugis ketika mereka mula mendarat di bumi Melayu ini.

Kita lihat pula tulisan R. J. Wilkinson, “The Capture of Malacca, A.D. 1511”. Beliau menyebut mengenai beberapa perkataan sepert “Malay gun-fire” dan “heavy fire” merujuk kepada bala askar Melaka ketika itu ketika menceritakan mengenai kejatuhan Melaka yang boleh dijadikan dalil bahawa orang Melayu kita ketika itu sudah memiliki senjata api.

Diceritakan bahawa ketika askar Portugis cuba memasuki muara Sungai Melaka yang cetek dan berlumpur itu, mereka telah dihujani oleh divisyen askar Melaka yang menggunakan senjata api dan menghujani askar Portugis dengan senjata api

Akhir sekali, hayatilah bait-bait Syair Perang Siak yang ditulis menceritakan mengenai perang melibatkan Sultan Siak, Raja Ismail dengan Belanda sekitar tahun 1760-1761. Meski syair ini agak lewat jika dibandingkan dengan peristiwa kejatuhan Melaka, tetapi syair ini mempunyai dalil bahawa sesungguhnya budaya senjata api dan orang Melayu itu tidak dapat dipisahkan.

Berani Wilanda jangan dikata
Kapal dan kici menembak semata
Bunyi sorak gempita
Meriam dan pemuras berbunyi sekata

Perkataan “meriam” dan “pemuras” yang terakam dan diabadikan dalam syair ini menunjukkan bahawa senjata-senjata api memang sudah digunakan dalam pertahanan masyarakat Melayu.

Akhir kata daripada saya, saya memohon agar DS Najib memperhalusi ucapan DS Najib sebelum berbicara lagi mengenai topik kejatuhan Kesultanan Melaka pada tahun 1511, kerana sesungguhnya topik ini berkait rapat dengan jati diri bangsa Melayu. DS Najib adalah orang kenamaan dan pastinya mempunyai pengaruh yang sangat besar; saya khuatir jikalau kenyataan DS Najib yang lari daripada hakikat sejarah itu dipegang pula sebagai azimat kebenaran oleh kebanyakan rakyat Malaysia.

Saya daripada organisasi The Patriots sekadar menjalankan tugas dalam menyedarkan masyarakat Malaysia mengenai sejarah sebenar yang seakan-akan dilindungkan daripada pengetahuan mereka. Andai kata apa yang saya nukilkan ini mengandungi jarum yang secara tak sengaja telah mengguris hati pembaca, sepuluh jari saya susunkan untuk memohon maaf. Saya juga manusia biasa yang tidak lepas daripada melakukan kesilapan.

Link untuk bacaan lanjut kejatuhan Melaka: https://goo.gl/cyaYuU

HE dari Facebook The Patriots -
https://www.facebook.com/thepatriots2020/photos/a.182165691977464.1073741828.181500092044024/475024329358264/?type=3

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GST Follow Up Statistics

www.kopihangtuah.blogspot.com

Sliced and diced the statistics, we have the following outcome for Goods and Services Tax (GST) registration:

TOP 4 STATES
WPKL - 20.4%
Selangor - 18.62%
Johor - 12.94%
Penang - 7.12%
Quite puzzling to see Penang to record low registrations given its busy business activities.

SME IS THE BIGGEST CATEGORY
SME - 94.07%
SME - 382,082 companies
It makes sense for SMEs to be the largest lot given their significance in driving the economy.

NON MANUFACTURING REGISTRANTS
Micro Non Manufacturing (Revenue Small Non Manufacturing - 72.09%
Medium Non Manufacturing - 17.50%
Quite surprising to see commendable voluntary registrations.

MANUFACTURING REGISTRANTS
Micro Manufacturing (Revenue Small Non Manufacturing - 34.28%
Medium Non Manufacturing - 27.42%
Also, quite surprising to see commendable voluntary registrations.

TYPES OF ENTITIES
Companies 225,000 entities - 55.59%
Sole Proprietor 106,000 entities - 26.13%
Partnership 57,000 entities - 14.19%
Professionals 6,800 entities - 1.68%
Companies are expected to reach revenues of RM500,000 threshold faster than the other types of entities.

TOP SECTORS
Wholesale and Retail - 142,000 entities - 35.20%
Construction - 72,000 entities - 17.91%
Manufacturing - 50,000 entities
Professionals - 25,000 entities
Fast Moving Consumer Goods is the epitome of what transactions are all about when discussing consumption tax such as GST.

GST TAX AGENTS
WPKL - 557 - 31%
Selangor - 450 - 25%
Penang - 207
Johor - 178
Agents dispersed in accordance with level of economic activities of the states.

INCREASING NON FILING
Apr-Jun 2015 - 7,954 entities
Oct-Dec 2015 - 30,611 entities
Perhaps the frustration of refund mechanism or lack of authorities' actions against non registrants have resulted in the lost in interest?

GST REFUND
Apr-Jun 2015 - approx 17,000 refunds
Oct-Dec 2015 - approx 50,000 refunds
Royal Customs have increase its efficiency.

COLLECTION OF GST
Collected RM27 Billion which is higher than target of RM23 Billion.
2016 targeted to achieve RM39 Billion, a 44% jump!
A very high target for 2016. Achieveable?

PENALTIES
First 30 days delay - 5%
Second 30 days delay - 10%
Third 30 days delay - 10%
Penalties applied on "Payable" amount based on the return rather than the "Unpaid Net of Paid Amount".

TIME BAR FOR INPUT TAX CLAIM
6 years from registration date
Only if stocks have not yet been supplied or consumed or incorporated into manufacturing process.

Go GST!!

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Kechewa Nasi Lemak

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Kepada Persatuan Pembuat Nasi Lemak SeMalaya,

Tolong sebarkan masalah Nasi Lemak di Malaya ni seperti berikut:

1. Namanya Nasi Lemak.... bukan Nasi Putih. Apesal tak rasa lemak? Ni dah kelentong tahap dosa dah ni.

2. Ikan Bilis kalau boleh letaklah segenggam ke. Ni 3 ekor aje. T I G A ekor sahaja. Bak kata KJ.... Ale Uto lah

3. Telor penat mak ayam keluarkan cantik bulat bujur.... kau gi potong empat lepas tu satu perempat je kau kasi? What the hell?

4. Sambal... aduhhhh.... sambal.... kau reti tak masak ni? Tumis cili tu sampai masak... ni rasa macam cili ulam je. Lepas tu kau campak gula berlungguk nak kasi sedap. Aku ni high sugar in blood. Kalau nak manis letak banyak bawang lah beb. Adoi. Fail lah.

5. Tidak ada komplen pasal timun. Timun buang duit je bukan orang kisah sangat. Macam Richard Branson stop letak olives dalam airplane meal..... gitu.

6. Dah lah tu... harga seciput tu melebehi harga satu liter RON95..... damn!


Yang kechewa,

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