www.kopihangtuah.blogspot.com
ere you born in the 70's? I was. It was cool growing up in the 80's later. Lots of good stuff ranging from Atari, Michael Jackson, Thundercats, 7-Eleven Slurpee and even Samantha Fox! Today, you buggers (70's babies), are probably between 30 to 40, married with one kid or two (or one wife or two) and at the critical stage of your careers. You struggled through life for the past decades but yet, you still enjoyed the good things in life. However, little that you realise, somewhere in that stability of life you are in, you miss doing those things that you did during your youth days. Gentlemen, I'm telling you, you are in your mid life crisis! ha! ha! You don't believe me? Well, here's a checklist.
See how many of these are relevant to you (Naturally, since I made this list, I would have scored 100 out of 100):
1
When your age is close in proximity to Average Mortality of 70 divided by 2
2
When u are neither Gen X nor Gen Y
3
When you are neither Kembara nor Hujan, because you are Wings and Search
4
When u lose 10kg after jogs and stuff but the tummy still looks like a balloon
5
When your wife is outstation, you are entrusted to feed the plant, the grass, the fish, the cat and the boy
6
When you spent your New Year watching DVD at home rather than partying at night clubs
7
When you are neither Pink Floyd nor Linkin Park, because you are Metallica and Guns N' Roses
8
When after 14 years of a career, you are still a Powerpoint slide clicker in the Board of Directors meetings
9
When cigarettes cost RM2.40 for a pack of 20 twenty years ago at the point you first picked up the habit but now costs RM10.00 when you are trying to quit
10
When you buy loads of canvases and oil paints, only to be kept in the store for ages
11
When you only care to shave once a week now
12
When you are neither Pink Panther nor Animae, because you are Thundercats and Transformers
13
When you quit the auditing profession after doing it for 13 years
14
When you jam with your friends songs from the 80’s
15
When the Doctor says "You have spur under your heel bone"
16
When the earliest Grammy that you remember featured Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Sheena Easton, Billy Joel, Cindy Lauper, Lionel Ritchie and the like
17
When you start having conversations with the cat (imagining that you are having conversations)
18
When next year you'll be excluded from the target segment of Hot FM 97.6, Fly FM 95.8 and One FM 88.1 of 35 year olds and below
19
When you haven't learnt the solo for Stairway to Heaven since 1990 and only now you are asking people to teach you
20
When you find yourself asking “When am I going to buy a BMW?”
21
When you go for a pee after just pee'ing a minute ago
22
When u asked a 22 year old new staff whether they know who Guns N'Roses are and they replied "What is that? Homo porn?"
23
When you now hang out at Mandarin Oriental listening to jazz band instead of clubbing away at Jalan P. Ramlee
24
When you remember about Piccadilly Tea Dance whenever you pass Atria
25
When you are having breakfast with your staff with a conversation about "Balik Kampung" instead of about Lisa Surihani
26
When you remembered reading about Aung San Suu Kyi being jailed 12 years ago & today you received Twitter saying she's released
27
When your favourite movie quotes include "Tipah tertipu bang" from the movie Ali Setan
28
When your friend buys a 'white' leather shoes with embroidery
29
When you had Jawi in your school syllabus
30
When you used to say "Kak rokok sekotak" at the counter but now you say "Adik, rokok sekotak"
31
When you buy all 8 albums by Sheila Majid at one go for RM99.99, the last box set at the cd shop apparently
32
When you were born when Zaire was known as Congo and now the name is back to Congo
33
When people give you a blur face when you say Penilaian Darjah Lima
34
When you are surrounded by crazy Makciks who talk to their cats like talking to little baby humans
35
When you buy a checkered shirt (like Slash's) at the Levi's store, your wife accuses u of mid life crisis
36
When you remembered that Shah Alam used to have traffic jams because of Eddie Lawson and Wayne Gardner instead of Selangor vs Kelantan
37
When a friend said "Going through crap in earlier career life is an investment for the future" She is a banker. Go figure!
38
When you get really frustrated when the gang cancels the jamming session that you've been waiting for
39
When 3 months without jogging increased your weight from 73kg to 78kg. Damn!
40
When you only accept Levi's 501 and not the other denims
41
When you are stuck in a jam and you have to pee real badly and there is no spare empty mineral water bottle in the car
42
When seeing billboard with "Tron akan datang di pawagam" feels like dejavu of what was on the billboard a quarter century ago
43
When Generation Y goes to the Saloon for RM28 trim and hair wash whereas Generation X goes for Mamak haircut for RM10 which used to be RM5 15 yrs ago
44
When you eat steak, you eat it plain without black pepper or mushroom sauce. Those sauces, you feel, defeats the purpose of eating steaks
45
When you are neither Affix nor Playstation, because you are Atari
46
When your dad used to be stuck in a jam in a 2 lane Federal Highway and now you are stuck in a jam in a 3 lane Federal Highway. Time for it to be 4 lane Federal Highway so that my son will be stuck in it, but improved version
47
When your wife is in hippy skirt, kid in English rugger jersey & you’re in Slash checkered shirt unbuttoned with rock t-shirt inside
48
When you are still wearing that huge buckled rockers belt bought in 1993 with your jeans today! The belt is 17 years old!
49
When you complaint: “What the hell? Guppy Fish price has increased from RM1.00 each to RM1.20 each, 20% increase? That's 4 times GDP!”
50
When you remembered that it wasn't Maria Ozawa but it was Samantha Fox!
51
When your wife sets KPI on when your tummy should stop growing
52
When you have to wait for the woman to dress up for bloody 1 hour for a dinner function
53
When you do food tasting, your comment is "Woi! apesal Dalca ni tak cukup terung hah?"
54
When you were the ones watching Cumi dan Ciki and TV Pendidikan in black and white
55
When people calls you a compulsive Twittor
56
When you realised that you didn't read To Kill A Mocking Bird properly at school and find yourself reading it now
57
When you say “I don't usually do resolutions, but this year I want to beat a friend in 5km run”
58
When you started calculating your Body Mass Index (BMI). BMI=kg/mXm. Healthy range 18.5-23. Overweight 23-27.5. >27.5 is obese! Mine 27, near obese. To get 23, I should lose 12kg WTH
59
When someone says to you "Saya peminat setia Uncle". Not sure if I want to cheer or cry
60
When you buy 2 Toyota Altis for you and your wife at the same time
61
When you want to take music exams at the age of 35 – 40
62
When you realise that Mid Valley replaces Angkasapuri as Federal Highway landmark for Bangsar
63
When you see an advertisement that says ”RT @ntv7: Have you ever had a quarter-life crisis? catch a repeat of @CUBE_ntv7 On @tontonMY”
64
When you think it’s time to consult the doctors again when you think the body is getting used to the medications
65
When your Proton dealer tells you that a Proton gearbox needs an RM20,000 overhaul. What the heck?
66
When your Headmasters were popular with Volvo 240
67
When, as usual, you are the last to leave the Finance Department on Friday night
68
When you hang your suit and tie and turn up at work in jeans and black linen short sleeves
69
When you just saw your wedding VCD where your spokesperson read from his “Jawi” written notes
70
When you realise that the cost of living gets more expensive: Oil price went up, upgrade to Astro Beyond, education loan repayment up by RM300 and ciggies now costs RM10 per pack of 20!
71
When you were there when they officially launched Proton Saga on Penang Bridge
72
When at the gym shower room you say in your head “Guys shouldn't walk around naked. Don't think people here are invisible. And buy a trimmer please!
73
When a medical doctor says "no such thing as mid life crisis. It's just old people finding reasons to do stupid things". I think the doctor is in denial of his mid life crisis!
74
When you are seated at a table full of unmarried cousins and nieces and nephews
75
When you are pressured to buy Mercedes instead of BMW because the villagers only measure wealth when there is Mercedes and not any other cars
76
When your wedding photo on the wall of your parent's house is coming down giving way for latest wedding photo of a sibling
77
When you say “Just got home. Lipating my laundry now. I'm so domesticated.. Hehehe.. “
78
When a married 35 year old man calls his mom saying "Mak ada makan tak kat rumah?"
79
When you hibernate for 18 hours and suffer insomnia afterwards
80
When you only appreciate Stevie Ray Vaughan when he has long died
81
When you know which movie the line "tipah tertipu bang" comes from
82
When you are so busy & the only time to read emails, FB & Tweets is while you are taking a dump. Throw in reading newspapers as well.
83
When you enjoyed reading page 27 of New Straits Times on 27 November 2010 with the article "Laughing your way through a midlife crisis" by Dato' Johan Jaaffar
84
When you almost put Colgate on your face instead of Gillette shaving cream
85
When you were 11 years old, in 1986, you saw Halley's Comet. When it returns in 2061, you'll be 86
86
When you are asked to be the spokesperson for a wedding
87
When on someone’s birthday you say “Happy survived another year day”
88
When you have more than 10 Blackberry Messaging groups
89
When you almost put Daktarin on your toothbrush instead of Colgate
90
When the below conversation happens:
ARTIST: Darn you Old Town White Coffee! There goes my diet
YOU: Same. Damn you Nasi Lemak Restoran Gembira, Seksyen 3, Shah Alam
91
When someone tweets this “Hello @katyperry! How r u?? Dah makan?”
92
When David Haselhoff dances on Dancing With The Stars
93
When you stare blankly at either the Twitter timeline or Facebook homepage until something pings
94
When the below conversation happens:
FRIEND: Is lumberjack shirts coming back to the fashion scene?
YOU: Yes it is. I just bought one but Levi's version RT
95
When the below conversation happens:
BOSS: Kau tau sapa Kasma Booty?
YOU: Tau
BOSS: Tua jugak kau ni
96
When you start a Twitter Trending entitled #midlifecrisis
97
When you stay up late at night drafting Mid Life Crisis blog post
98
When you wear your shirt collars on top of your suit collars
99
When you want to sell Apache buckles at Camden during your ’pencen’ days
100
When you actually managed to get 100 examples of Mid Life Crisis indicators!
So are you experiencing mid life crisis?
* kopihangtuah| mcmlxxv:viii:xxix |
hen you are pist! You don’t use the F word. Instead you say “Punkoq Hang!” which means your bottoms! The second Penang bridge is expected to cost RM4.5 billion. Do we really need a 2nd bridge? On 24 Oct 2010, Penang won the Malaysian Cricket Association Division 1 League after defeating Pahang by 7 wickets. When entering Penang via ferry or bridge, you’ll have to pay, but leaving, no charges. So? Leave by ferry or bridge but going in? Swim? Penang Karipaps have no curry powder but instead loads of black pepper, so I was told. Weird, these Penangite lot, but let's continue the so called "Penang Talk":
