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He (father) said, "See that man walking into the mosque? He owns a Ferrari. He is a Chartered Accountant. Be like him." So I became a Chartered Accountant but I never really did afford to buy a Ferrari like that rich man, who is known as Tan Sri Azman Hashim. But of course, I do earn a decent income, unlike what I could have earned if I had become an artist. This is one of those blessings in disguise for an earlier sadness that arose from a denial by a father.
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My father was a strict man. Everyone in the household was scared of him. When he yells, the roof of the house shivers as if a typhoon was partying outside. There were many desires I had that were denied by my father - things like toys and such - for which, only now I comprehend. Whenever my kids ask for toys, I would only buy 2 out of 10 times asked. Obviously monetary and discipline were the two reasons. As a boy who has passion in art, I wanted to become an artist and later an architect. He (my father) discouraged me. He (father) said, "See that man walking into the mosque? He owns a Ferrari. He is a Chartered Accountant. Be like him." So I became a Chartered Accountant but I never really did afford to buy a Ferrari like that rich man, who is known as Tan Sri Azman Hashim. But of course, I do earn a decent income, unlike what I could have earned if I had become an artist. This is one of those blessings in disguise for an earlier sadness that arose from a denial by a father.
Today my two kids fought over some pieces of Lego. The elder boy who is 10 refused to share his with his younger brother who is 4 years old. I was doing my work and to simply end things with an utmost veto power, I screamed, "Just give the Lego to your brother" without bothering to inquire why he hesitated. Now the 10 year old started crying. So I asked, "Why would a 10 year old like you cry over some Lego?" He said, "I like my Lego. They are my collection." At that moment I realised that he has already developed his own sense of appreciation that warrants respect from others; just like how I would get mad if anybody tried to disturb my guitar collection. To put things into perpective, I said, "When you were small, about 2 yeas old, you took my mobile phone and started to stir the water in the toilet bowl while saying. 'Daddy look' with a huge smile on your face. Deep down inside I was so angry because the phone was a RM1,000 phone and I had to throw them away. I did not scold you because you were a small little boy who did not understand. This is the same with your little brother now." He understood what I was saying,... in his own way.
After 10 years of fatherhood and 2 delightful kids, I realised that I had found pleasure in it. I missed watching my sons grow up because I was aways working late to secure a good career. I had to resort to using the diary to ensure time allocation for my kids. This is done so that I would always treat them as important as work, if not more. For the 52 weekends in the calendar I have slotted in sessions for movies, playing kites, paintings and holidays. Every Sunday morning I would bring my sons for a swimming class that usually ends with a ritual Roti Canai (breakfast, the Malaysian way) session at a Mamak (Malaysian Cafe). My wife and I are always in a look out for some kids programmes so that we could bring our kids for a treat. The latest one was the Ultraman Show at Genting Highland.
The responsibility of being a parent is not easy. It requires patience and will power. Between me and my wife, we try to cover as much areas as possible. I would train my kids how to pray and my wife would look after their school matters. I would see that they go to their swimming and piano classes while my wife would ensure that they have enough clothing and food. I would pay for their education fees and health insurance while she (the wife) brings them to see their Grandpas and Grandmas. I cannot imagine doing all this without my wife to assist. Many people refer to family as an institution because it requires a systematic order for harmonisation. I would prefer calling it 'Life'. We take things for granted assuming that all this is a burden when if lost, only would we realise that it is a gift - from God. A gift (kids) that some may not have even after 10 yeas of marital life. I take pleasure in managing my family especially when we end up doing crazy things like singing together out loud or play fire crackers - but not as crazy as the Addams Family.
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